Death of high school friend

I am reminded how short life is. I moved away from my high school town after graduation and pretty must lost contact with everyone. We did not have social media back then. Then an old friend linked with me on facebook a coule years ago. I found out a guy I used to run cross-country with had died. Not only did he die early, but I hear reports of others who died before 60 of natural causes. Wìth the average life span of 78.7 years in the US, I would expect most of my high school peers to ive into their 80s. My logic would be the number of deaths from car accidents,etc. For example, our class president died the first summer after graduation from drinking nd crashing his car.

My take away ould be to number my days and apply them to wisdom (Psalm 18). I have some thinking and processing to do on ho to better invest my time.

Syrian girl who lost her friends and leg

An interesting video about a 12 year old Syrian girl who lost friends and her leg in the war.
http://childrenofsyria.info/2016/02/07/8411/
Is the struggle over an authoritarin leader worth the 2.1 million children out of school? How many children died? How many were displaced? The numbers are staggering.

Orphan Advocates International

As I searched for organizations involved in orphan work, Orphan Advocates International came up.
Actually the stories of the people involved are quite interesting. Their work is in Khabarovsk, Russia in Eastern Siberia. http://www.oaint.org/index.cfm 
Here is their main story.
"Orphan Advocates International (OAI) is a 501c3 volunteer based non-profit organization created to assist children living in orphanages through humanitarian aid, medical treatment, education, and safe housing.
Orphan Advocates was started over five years ago after Director Jeanette Dubanoski and her husband Mark adopted two children from Russia. They personally experienced the tragic conditions and situations these children cope with daily. Since that time, they have made it their goal to look for ways to help some of those children left behind. The first step was to start Orphan Advocates International, a 501c3 volunteer based non profit created specifically to assist children living in orphanages. What started out as a way to try and give back, has turned into a network of people who care and want to make a difference in these kids lives."

God's mercy to me

Having examined David's experience with grace in the previous blog, I looked at my own life. Was God simply showing mercy to me in a vacuum, or did he see something in my own life. We try to find a cause and effect to make sense out of life's events. When God brought Svetlana into my life, that was the greatest act of kindness that iatribute to  outside of eternal life. I did not deserve such a good wife. Yet I wonder even in this age of grace, if God had mercy on me in spite of my sin. I am trying to make a coonection from one practice that I fulfilled to the best of my knowledge. I made it a point to forgive others. I have also made it a practice to ask forgiveness of others. What I find strange is how little people actually go to someone and admit how they hurt someone and ask forgiveness. We tend to ignore it and move on. I suppose over time the pain becomes less, but I often hear people bring up a hurt of the past. They had buried it and it seems to eat away at their soul. Getting back on the intent of this subject, is there a cause and effect in which God sees our mercy to others and then grants more mercy to us based on our mercy to others? A tough case to prove, but I wonder.

Grace and mercy in David's life

As I process David's sin both with Bathsheeba and the census, God shows mercy to David. What is interesting is how others suffer for David' sin. His son Absalom temporarily takes the throne and has sex with ten concubines in the open.  After Absalom is killed they are housed separately for the rest of their lives. The result sounds more like quarantine, but perhaps a way to handle the trauma they experienced. Hard to say why they were put in isolation, but they were taken care of. When he takes the census for determining the number of possible soldiers for the army, the judment resulted in 70,000 of the people are killed by an angel. I always wondered how an angel actually carries out the killing. The bible really does not make it clear. Sin takes you where you do not really want to go and it costs you more than you really want to pay. Yet David is untouched by his sin. He dies a natual death. So how does God's judgment system work? David had two chances to kill Saul and left Saul's fate into God's hands. When a person (actually falsely) tried to claim that he killed Saul (hoping for some kind of reward), David executed him. He had a sense of  givìng some events to God. When he fled from Absalom one of Saul's family threw dust at him and cursed him. He could have easily executed the man, but stated that perhaps God sent him. David seemed to have mercy at the strangest situations. God looked at his heart and had compassion on him. 

Adultery and David

I heard a message on adultery and David. Naturally every message focuses on David, but what about Bathsheeba? The fact that she was bathing herself on  top of her house in view of David is suspect. Was she luring him? Could it be that she desired an intimate relationship? Stay tuned for more later. David sees her and she seems to be unconcerned if he observes. Since they lived close together, did  she just move in? David did not seem to know who Bathsheeba was. The king called for her and she slept with him. So we have to conclude that the encounter was consensual. The text would have mentioned something had she resisted. Had David stopped and sent her home, the story may have never made it to the text. HHad David overpowered her, then it would have been rape. For whatever reason she went along. Was she attracted to David? He was handsome and eloquent. Was she afraid because he was the king? It would seem that she would fear God more. She gave in and had sex with David. Now the  question of Uriah comes up. We look at him as an honorable soldier. Yet David tried to get him to go home to hopefully have sex with his wife. As the commander he could have easily granted Urah a leave of absence. Yet Uriah refused. Now we wonder what kind of relationship did Uriah and Bathsheeba have? It seems Uriah was married to his career as a soldier.  If a man is so  devoted to his profession that he even counters his commander, he does not have a close relationship with his wife. That would not excuse Bathsheeba, but she seemed to be vulnerable for attention. Finally, God judges David for the murder of Uriah and taking Bathsheeba as a wife, yet nothing is mentioned of the adultery. The king could have taken Bathsheeba as his wife-end of story. He took Michael away from a happy marriage from her husband. David could have just as easily taken Bathsheeba as a wife, and it seems Uriah would have gotten over it. The lingering question remains: why did God not mention the adultery? The moral of the story- "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23).

Syria- What are Christians doing?

According to recent statistics, the number of Syrian refugees is currently the largest in the world. I tried to figure out who is helping. The United Nations has some initiatives; I looked more at UNICEF (Children's) and UN Refugee Agency. I found a couple of Islamic non-profits and one unknown/religious neutral. While all these efforts are commendable, if a Christian wanted to help follow brothers and sisters in Christ, how would that work? In a general search for Syrian Christian refugees, the Knights of Columbus came up and rescuechristians.org. A second round of search brought up World Vision. There are probably more Christian groups involved, but that may be more of word of mouth through interested persons and churches. Yet as a Christian, I would want to help fellow believers. For me then I would look at helping the orphans and then the general population of Syrians.

According to operation world, Syria has about 6% Christians. The vast majority are Orthodox and Catholic. My understanding is that they had a stable and secure life under Assad. Syria claimed to be a secular state with religious tolerance. Maybe people do not agree with Assad or like him, but the country was stable. Now the world has blown parts of the country back to the stone age. How would they make progress if their infrastructure is destroyed? Perhaps the destruction to their normal way of life would open many more Syrians to look other directions for answers. Yes, we want to help with humanitarian aid, but seems they would be open to the gospel. The good news brings hope. How else could they make sense out of the upheaval and turbulence from the conflict?

Have we lost our minds? Syria

I was looking at the news yesterday and I read the news from Russia and Germany. Syria came up in both presses. Some think this will be a prolonged war and others think it will be a shift to a multi-polar world and more conflicts on the horizon. With a master's degree in International Relations plus lots of reading and discussing with people from all over the world, I could present an international analysis. But my calling is orphans and that is what befuddles me about international leaders' actions in the current world. Nobody seems to calculate the economic or people losses when they decide to get involved in a conflict. The United Nations puts the number of children affected at 5,600,000 in Syria and just over 2,000,000 outside of Syria. These stats are from September 2015.

So I had to ask myself a couple of questions. I read an article that showed countries that get involved in violent conflicts lose money and destroy infrastructure and damage human resources. So the old thinking of gaining resources from a war or conflict is really a past belief that has not proven a worthwhile gain in resources in the last 50 years. (of course some wise guy can come up with one or two). The world has seen 324 conflicts since 1946 and 35 are ongoing and a quick scan down the list showed me no one is really a winner. The cost of human capital and destruction of infrastructure is overwhelming. So what keeps a trend going that is proven fruitless? The financial gain does not support violent conflict.

The primary motivation is power and prestige. Either for ideological reasons or pride, leaders cannot disengage from current conflicts and look for other areas to use their political and military might. Could you imagine leaders saying we are not going to have a war because it would be too destructive to the people? What a paradigm shift that would be.

In the meantime, as I process these thoughts, how can I comprehend the toll on the Syrian children and how could I even begin to help. It is so overwhelming.

References
Marshall, M. (2015). Major Episodes of Political Violence 1946-2014. Retrieved from http://www.systemicpeace.org/warlist/warlist.htm
 
UNICEF (2016). Syria Crisis. Retrieved from  http://i2.wp.com/childrenofsyria.info/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/UNICEF-Syria-Regional-Crisis-SitRep-September-2015-1.jpg?resize=592%2C819  

Fasting is for the birds

Of all the spiritual disciplines, I always found fasting to be the most difficult. I do not find reading the bible, attending church, praying, or abstaining from harmful practices hard. After I finished my doctoral program, I made a commitment to fast 1/2 day once a week. I still do not see any value in my life, but I continue to do it out of faith. I am sure there is a good reason and one can back it up with scripture. However, I find it to be a pain and supposedly it puts your focus on God. I do not see anything different from my other spiritual practices. I would rather worship the Lord or read the bible or pray. After 2 years, this practice irritates me more than any of the others. If there is spiritual value, then I am oblivious to it. I will continue fasting, just because. For some other people, reading the bible might be a chore. So many believers do not have a regular practice of reading the scriptures or praying. Of course, everyone prays when there is a crisis or driving need. For me, I know I should continue, but fasting is for the birds.

Orphanhood and sexual risk

I think I have perhaps, maybe, possibly, temporarily circled back to the original purpose of this blog. I started it to write about orphans, but life happens. I will probably mix my own spiritual journey with research on orphans. The two topics seem to be intertwined in my life as my final objective. I landed on an article on orphanhood and fertility. We tend to think orphans are sexually at risk because of the events in their lives. However, these authors are researching an alternative rationale for sexual relations of orphans. Their research supports the desire for a family to reach a normal lifestyle. This view counters our typically assumption that due to the trauma of orphans, their stereotype of lower education and poverty lead to higher risk taking in sexual relations. This concept even runs counter to my research assumption about sexual motivations of orphans. Could it be that the orphans simply want to have a family to have a sense of purpose and meaning. The authors describe Malawi and bring in other research from Zimbabwe and South Africa. I looked at cultural dimensions and their are some differences between Malawi and South Africa. Zimbabwe did not have any data. Malawi is more of a nurturing (feminine) culture, so that might be a factor in the orphans wanting to have children. For that variable, it makes sense that some societies would be better at nurturing versus the opposite trait of assertive (masculine). The assertive cultural dimension "indicates that the society will be driven by competition, achievement and success, with success being defined by the winner / best in field – a value system that starts in school and continues throughout organisational life" (Hofstede, 2016). For some cultures, the typical at risk approach may be a desire for a normal life by forming a family.


Hofstede, G. (2016). Malawi. Retrieved from http://geert-hofstede.com/malawi.html

Kidman, R., & Anglewicz, P. (2014). Fertility Among Orphans in Rural Malawi: Challenging Common Assumptions About Risk and Mechanisms. International Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health, 40(4), 164-175. doi: 10.1363/4016414

Generational differences

I went to the Project Management monthly meeting tonight. The speaker discussed the four generations in the workforce. We did a table exercise. We had to describe 6 terms bout one generation. Two of us wanted to discuss the millenials and 6 wanted to talk about the baby boomers. 7 of 8 are baby boomers. Anyway it was a fascinating discussion on the environment that we grew up in. The previous generation had virtually life time employment. We had to deal with globalization and corporate downsizing.  Few have stayed at the same company for a lifetime. The younger generation realizes that fact and more are planning accordingly. The speaker said more of them are pursuing a dual career path in order to mitigate the job uncertainy. Anyway it was fascinatng and I wish I could capture the thoughts and ideas. I  read a book on the four generations and read several articles on the topic. What would be interesting is to see how the generations would be divided in Russia or Germany. If I thought hard enough I could come up with some dividing lines and characteristics.  

Center of God's will

Determining whether we are in the center of God's will is quite complex for me. I know I am in the center; at least since Sveta came into my life. I have more assurance that I am on God's path more than I believed for many years. I have reached two of three objectives in my life. One was to find the woman of my dream and God mercifully brought her across my path. The second was to earn a doctorate. The third is to look after orphans in their distress. I wonder how many folks have an objective, but life happens and we find little time for that objective. I have my job to attend to and I actually enjoy my work. On a humorous note, I had a chat with another professor. The students were complaining about their grade for a group project. They commented that he was strict like Dr. Lewis. I do not consider myself strict, but I expect students to follow the standards I set and I provide them ahead of time the requirements in writing. But I digress from the topic. I have various administrative tasks to do; just recently spent hours completing taxes. Thank God that is done and I do not owe Uncle Sam. Now I am working on Sveta's passport application. I am working on pulling together documents and a plan for publishing-I should be publishing on my doctoral work. Also I am contingency planning by putting together documents for teaching part-time on line. Seems like there are a lot of tasks to do and they are time consuming. The good news is that I am not as frustrated as I used to be. I just work on stuff in between the job tasks and other life events. I am basically working from the time I get up until I go to bed. And I am very happy. Even though I gave my life to Christ at 17, it is only in the last 7 years that I experienced a consistent joy. And that is because of Sveta. So am I in the center of God's will. For almost 30 years, I could not say that with a clear conscience. Now I would say, "yes".

Facing hatred

Hate is a topic we would all probably like to avoid. At least I find it an uncomfortable subject to face in my own life. I am reading a chapter from Proverbs every day and landed on the 10th chapter. I wanted to move on to something else and twice the word hatred emerges from the text. "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs." We like to focus on love covering all wrongs, but facing our hatred is quite uncomfortable. I mentioned before how my parents had hurt me and I had become bitter. When confronted with a teaching on forgiveness, I forgave them and I do not believe I ever hated them. However, I did have a relationship in which a person deeply hurt me. "Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool." I hope to use discretion in this dialog so as not to "slander" anyone. I did try to conceal it; it was embarrassing to admit I hated someone. I had not been betrayed by someone and did not know how to handle it. I did not stop the bitterness from turning into hatred. Finally, I forgave the person. I still have to forgive that person from time to time as the memory comes up more often than I would like. The devil seems to give the memory a boost. Sometimes I get angry at the person about the hurt and then I have to ask God for forgiveness. The primary way to break the bond of hatred is to forgive. Ignoring does not help, the thought keeps coming back. Trying to forget does not help, the memory comes back. Forgiving is so simple, yet alludes us so much.  

Hate and God

As I process this concept of hate, how does one conceive that God hates people? Yet the Psalmist does not put it nicely in this verse:
"You hate all who do wrong;" other version refer to "those who do iniquity (or evil)". Now we have to define evil. Could we find ourselves in a place that God would hate us. I remember one study I read in my doctoral program. It was a study on ethics. The conclusion of the research showed that we consider ourselves more ethical than others. That has humbled me to consider how I might apply my own ethics to others and realize it is not my standard, but God's standards that are important. So the take away in these verses on God hating certain people is a very strong claim. That goes against the grain of our concept of diversity and God loves everyone. Did God change from the Old testament to the New. We quote "for God so loved the world...", yet he still hates people. Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated is quite a strong indictment. For me, it means, I need to turn away from evil. I may not be able to keep evil out of my brain, but I certainly do not want to act on it. I really need the power of the Spirit to keep from evil.

Hate

I wwas reading my proverb of the day and what God hates threw a wrench in my theology.

There are six things the Lord hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:
17         haughty eyes,
        a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
18         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19         a false witness who pours out lies

        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

I always assumed God loved everyone, however, he hates those who do these things. A person that is consumed with pride i.e. haughty eyes makes the list. Oh, how we need the Spirit of God to keep us on the path! And also we must keep the Word of God in our hearts and mind e.g. reading and meditating on it every day. God will forgive when we confess our sins and clean us from our evil. 

I suppose we would despise someone who always lied. And even someone who continually stirsup conflict or strife in our community would be undesireble.  We like to land on God is love, but the other side of the coin is what He hates and who He hates. We definitely want to turn from these things and reprogram our brain towards the right direction.

Emotions and thinkng

Emotions are so complex. We feel something, but is the emotion triggered by thoughts? Sometimes I am overcome by emotions and I cannot explain how it happened. I finally decided to accept the positive feelings. Yet my experience does not allow me to have the feelings for a long time. I have to rationalize my feelings. I have "trained" myself to explain my feelings. Is that upbbringing, culture, education, or a combination of each? Regardless of the source, we are encouraged to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I can see the value of that phrase. When we keep processing a thought, our brain makes a pattern. Since the chemical-electrical pulse takes the path of least resistance, it is important to set patterns that are productive for our lives and not destructive. More and more I realize how important it is to capture the thought and enclose it. If the pattern is still strong it takes several rounds to turn from the thought or redirect it to a different topic. Slowly but surely I am making very deep emotional scars obediant to Christ. The strength lessons as I forgive or ask God for forgiveness and redirect my thoughts. 

Mentoring

I have read through a book over the past two months. The Richest Man Who Ever Lived by Steven K. Scott. The text basically covers the book of Proverbs and his life experiences. The book encouraged me to read a Proverb a day. I made it all the way through January and picking up with Proverbs 1 today. He describes God as the ultimate mentor and the need to have a mentor here on earth. He also recommends having Godly counselors to process life's happenings and making decisions. We have all made decisions on our own that turned out negative. I am glad now that I have Sveta and several friends that I can talk with over various issues of life. My objective is to have wisdom and understanding and that is what I seek. reading the scriptures and especially Proverbs helps with that objective.