processing life

The permit for our house remodel is approved. The sooner we can finish the basement the sooner we can set up for the international ministry.  The ideal would be to tke in orphan leaders perhaps that may be in the future. For now we need the compensation to cover costs and reach a payback on the remodel. Fortunately the work required is less than I anticipated from my first visit to the building permit place. work moves slow but the price is right as I do what I can myself. 

Experiences from adopting - part 1

One of the dissertations that I observed while working on my dissertation. Curry-Lourenco discusses the experiences of parents who adopted from Eastern Europe. The study looks at a nursing perspective for caring for families that have internationally adopted children. She covers issues such as the "effects of institutionalization, alcohol-related neuro-developmental disorder and reactive attachment disorder." It seems parents that adopt from Russia experience more intense problems overall than other countries. I am making that assumption from someone who observed adoptions from countries around the world. 

Curry-Lourenco, K. A. (2012). The lived experience of parenting a child adopted from an institution in Eastern Europe. 3546752 Ph.D., Duquesne University, United States -- Pennsylvania. Retrieved from https://login.ctu.idm/oclc.org/?url=http://search.proquest.com/docview/1267150286?accountid=26967 ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Full Text database.

Life change - Part 5

Two weeks have passed since I made the change to destroy my gaming computer. Externally all is normal. Internally, I went through an intense period of darkness in the sense of the attacks of the spirits of darkness. So much of my past, the present, and even the future have daunted my soul. Apparently I have opened up a spiritual realm of experiences that I struggle to put into words. Right now I cannot make much sense of this valley. I continually go back to the scriptures and proclaim what I know. The flood of thoughts are overwhelming. Many things are coming up that I had considered conquered and in the past-and they are covered by the blood of Christ.

So the question is where do I go from here? I would not say I am doing more, but I am reflecting and evaluating more. I am reading more and for some reason resting more-perhaps the deep depths of a February winter? I am doing what seems appropriate. I am waiting on the Lord and His power will descend and move the mountains.

Interesting Russian show

I was sent a link from Marina from Pokrov. It is in Russian, but tells the story of five sisters who were taken to the Pokrov orphanage in 1993. I have been to that orphanage 5 times now. An interesting perspective how the sisters lived 20 years later. One sister had been in a bad car accident and lost one leg. Her friends are taking care of her and her family is not. The state is helping out. Of interest is the adopted mother came on the show saying how difficult it was and gave reasons or perhaps excuses why she was not involved in her daughter's life. The audience was quite upset and many spoke up during her speech. It was clear the audience did not agree with the mother's position.

I know Svetlana, the orphanage director, and the other care givers in the program.

Marina wrote: "Look what I happened to watch on Russian national TV today. It is a story about 5 sisters who were adopted from Pokrov orphanage 20 years ago. 2 sisters were adopted to France and three were adopted by Russians. 29:10 - Svetlana (orphanage director) is giving her comment. 38:03 - orphanage tour https://l.facebook.com/l/8AQH9RFkGAQE-rufvgFfJL0IDJ7kMg8tF_tChhoBUjcYQvw/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DaOpV4X5balc"

Life change - Part 4

The first week came out as expected. When a person makes a major life change, all hell breaks loose. Mostly the pressure can internal into my mind. The enemy tried all kinds of tactics to overcome me. I am working on the scripture that says "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). Part two of that thought is "to make it obedient to Christ." Having gone through full range of thoughts and feelings, I hope this settles down soon, so I can focus on the task set before me. The intent of giving up the gaming computer was to have more time for remodeling the house and conduct more research and writing. I am reading more, just need to engage in the writing process. Also I need to not over analyze everything and move forward.

Life change - Part 3

The conviction that came to me regarded computer simulation games. At age14 I was introduced to war games- World War Two board games -Guadalcanal, then Jutland, Gettysburg, Third Reich, etc. I was fascinated by them because they engaged my mind. I could play with someone or play by myself. Then in the Army I played Squad leader, NATO, and a platoon level Soviet-NATO game but only by myself. When computer games came out, I started with my new PC in 1995 with Colonization and Civilization. I remember playing various games on the Nintendo such as Mario Brothers and NFL with the kids, but the challenge and complexity attracted me more. Anyway, I went through cycles of playing and giving them up. When I worked on Master's and Doctoral program I had to put them on the shelf. After I completed the doctoral program, I had two laptops and kept one for gaming and one for work and personal use. I would go back and forth between the two, always accomplishing my work responsibility. yet I seemed to be short of time for study, research, reading, and writing.

So after our trip to Arizona I had been separated from the computers for four days. I thought about time management, and I decided to get rid of the computer. Is struggled for the morning as I normally did in the past trying to rationalize the pros and cons. I figured when the computer died, it was a sign to give it up. It was about 9 years old and in excellent condition. The computer simulations did keep me from a number of tempting vices in the past. I simply decided I would invest my time more into research and writing for the orphan cause. So I took the computer out and smashed it with an ax.  I believe that is what I needed to do to end this chapter of my life in order to devote time in another area.

Life change - part 2

One of the humbling aspects of my life is the adjustments I make in order to meet an objective. When we traveled to Arizona for a long weekend and returned, I realized I had a time management problem. With work, remodeling the house, and family, I did not seem to have time to study, research and do the work for orphans. So I did something radical that I am not aware of anyone else doing. Around 1990-1991 I had an issue with television. I was so hooked on CNN and other programs, that I realized I did not have time for the family. One day I took the television out back and broke it with a hammer. My family was so upset that they did not speak to me for three days. But I had time and we did many activities together. I have no regrets and am glad I did it. When I tell the story, many ask me why I did not sell it, or donate it, or give it away. I cannot say, I just knew I needed to get rid of it. Prolonging could have caused me to waffle and extend the time frame for what needed to be done for weeks, months, years or perhaps I would rationalize and not do it. Next post I will share how I went through this process again after prolonging what I needed to do for a long time.

Life change

     We went to Arizona for a long weekend. As I contemplated some things on the road, I looked at time management. Having a full time job, a wife, and currently my father-in-law takes up a certain amount of time. I do not see any negatives in those three. Spending time with God is important. I often pray in the middle of the night when I wake up. Between praying and digressing on other thoughts, the time is about 50% of each. I make it a point to read the scriptures and memorize verses. Right now I am reading through Proverbs and Luke. I am slowly trying to memorize 1 John in German. Remodeling the house is a major effort. Currently progress is slow and I am working on a number of little tasks in between everything else.
     I have been meditating over the book of Acts. The disciples were told to wait. Then God's power came upon them. I definitely need that kind of power to accomplish the mission he has called me to - to be a good husband for my wife, a mentoring professor, and to care for orphans in their distress. With over 550 million orphans and growing the task is overwhelming. Many aspects of my life are overwhelming at this time. However, I am still strong and courageous. The Lord my God will be with me wherever I go.

The orphan issue

Getting back to the orphan issue, how does one attack such a huge problem. I have no huge program and building one would take much time and resources. Many organizations address the problem and really help orphans. I have to go back to the New Testament scripture: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27. I am reminded of a message I heard this past Sunday about waiting on the Lord and then the Holy Spirit will come in power. In the meantime I will continue to prepare and be ready for that time.